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Fed Up

Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward

Audiobook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

A rousing call to arms, packed with surprising insights, that explores how carrying ""the mental load""—the thankless day-to-day anticipating of needs and solving of problems large and small—is adversely affecting women's lives and feeding gender inequality, and shows the way forward for better balancing our lives.

Launching a heated national conversation with her viral article ""Women Aren't Nags; We're Just Fed Up""—viewed over two billion times—journalist Gemma Hartley gave voice to the frustration and anger of countless women putting in the hidden, underappreciated, and absolutely draining mental work that consists of keeping everyone in their lives comfortable and happy. Bringing long overdue awareness to the daunting reality of emotional labor in our lives, Hartley defines the largely invisible but demanding, time-consuming, and exhausting ""worry work"" that falls disproportionately and unfairly on all women—no matter their economic class or level of education.

Synthesizing a wide variety of sources—history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropology—Hartley makes the invisible visible, unveiling the surprising shapes emotional labor takes at work, at home, in relationships, and in parenting. With on-the-ground reporting, identifiable personal stories and interviews from around the world, this feminist manifesto will empower women to transform their inner dialogue and give all women the emotional fortitude and courage to ask for what we most want—without shame, without guilt, and without the emotional baggage.

Beyond naming the problem, Fed Up offers practical advice and solutions for teaching both men and women how to wield emotional labor to live more full and satisfying lives. Hartley helps us to see emotional labor not as a problem to be overcome, but as a genderless virtue we can all learn to channel in our quest to make a better, more egalitarian world for ourselves and most importantly, our children. Insightful, surprising, deeply relatable, and filled with all too familiar moments, this provocative, intelligent, and empathetic guide is essential reading for every woman who has had enough with feeling fed up.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      September 24, 2018
      Journalist Hartley serves up a passionate and personal assessment of the nature and costs to women of “emotion management and life management combined... the unpaid, invisible work we do to keep those around us comfortable and happy” and households running. Hartley’s 2017 Harper’s Bazaar article on the topic, “Women Aren’t Nags—We’re Just Fed Up,” was shared nearly a million times; and here, Hartley expands her argument that men must become more “engaged” in their domestic lives, women let go of perfectionism and feel “more free,” and everyone value domestic labor more highly. She buttresses her case—that women, even straight women with enlightened male partners, are unfairly expected to perform the overwhelming majority of emotional labor in American society—with sociological, psychological, and anthropological studies; magazine articles; her own marital experience; and the experiences of other women, varied in class and financial status, ethnicity and location, profession and trade. There is much here likely to engage, comfort, and possibly help women who share Hartley’s fed-up feelings.

    • AudioFile Magazine
      Anyone with a partner, household, or career will instantly identify with Hartley's analysis of the inequities in our culture's view of women's and men's roles and responsibilities. Narrator Th�r�se Plummer's conversational tone immediately engages the listener and makes Hartley's thought-provoking observations more accessible. The brisk yet comfortable pace Plummer sets moves the text along smartly while allowing listeners time for reflection. Variations in tone and volume for quotes and emphasis prove effective without interrupting the smooth flow of her presentation. Her soft delivery of Hartley's shared personal episodes lends intimacy and immediacy, and the trace of a smile in her voice lends humor to the occasional caustic aside. Plummer's skillful narration of Hartley's thoughtful treatise on true equality for the sexes will find wide appeal for the serious listener. M.O.B. © AudioFile 2019, Portland, Maine

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