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Fair Play
A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)
by Eve Rodsky
ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
"A hands-on, real talk guide for navigating the hot-button issues that so many families struggle with."—Reese Witherspoon
Tired, stressed, and in need of more help from your partner? Imagine running your household (and life!) in a new way...
It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family — and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was... underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it.
The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up chores and responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.
"Winning" this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space — as in, the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Stop drowning in to-dos and lose some of that invisible workload that's pulling you down. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in.
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Creators
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Publisher
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Release date
October 1, 2019 -
Formats
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Kindle Book
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OverDrive Read
- ISBN: 9780525541950
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EPUB ebook
- ISBN: 9780525541950
- File size: 8035 KB
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Languages
- English
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Reviews
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September 16, 2019
Rodsky, founder of the Philanthropy Advisory Group, tackles in her impressive debut the unequal standards for housework for women who perform many “unpaid, invisible” tasks in the home. A text from Rodsky’s husband about blueberries forgotten during the weekly shopping trip prompted her to ask for more help from him and eventually to come up with a “fair play” system for women who work full time (like their partners), but are also responsible for the lion’s share of home and child management. Broken down into four tenets—all time is created equal, reclaim your right to be interesting, start where you are now, and establish your own standards—her system came together from her research of domestic inequality and interviews with over 500 couples. To facilitate fair divvying up of responsibilities, Rodsky also provides 100 Cards of Fair Play, which represent the most common tasks in the home ecosystem, as well as sample calenders and discussion questions to help couples implement her rules. Couples searching for ways to better manage their families and achieve a balance of domestic work will benefit from Rodsky’s actionable strategy. -
September 1, 2019
Domestic responsibilities have long been carried by women, even when both partners worked full-time. Also known as emotional labor and invisible work, these household duties include packing lunches, planning vacations, scheduling extracurriculars, and hundreds more unpaid tasks that culminate in time lost and building resentment among couples. While countless blog posts and op-eds have discussed the problem, few have offered practical solutions. Rodsky draws on her legal background, foundation work, and personal experience to gamify this marital dilemma by introducing a system, Fair Play, in which the aim is not to beat your spouse but to work together to build a sustainably run household. Rodsky's system, which uses task cards divided between partners, is potentially revolutionary, and her book (her first) offers the right combination of venting and commiserating balanced by practical solutions and manageable approaches to tough conversations. Rodsky's method has already been backed by Reese Witherspoon's Hello Sunshine, a women-led media company committed to changing the narrative for women, hinting that Fair Play will receive lots of media buzz and be poised to become a book-club favorite.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.) -
Eve Rodsky makes the bold assertion that she’s “changing society one marriage at a time.” Is she a renowned family therapist? A world-famous researcher into the dynamics of marriage? No. She’s a Harvard-educated lawyer and mom of three who got sick and tired of nagging her husband to pitch in around the house. Rodsky talked to hundreds of couples to get to the heart of why, in 2019, women still bear the brunt of invisible work—things like scheduling teacher conferences and providing middle-of-the-night comfort to kids. And then some women fall into the trap of nagging and criticizing their partners for not doing things exactly as they would. It’s a no-win situation for everyone involved. “We expect women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work,” Rodsky writes. She would know. After a stint at J.P. Morgan, Rodsky launched her own business advising charitable foundations, all while bringing three humans into the world. She writes lovingly of her husband, Seth, who “made efforts to extend a hand, but ultimately retreated because ‘I can’t do anything right.’ ” It was in an effort to preserve her own marriage that Rodsky did the research for and designed the Fair Play system. It’s to Rodsky’s credit that Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) never devolves into a diatribe against men. (Although some of the quotations she gets from men in her interviews are astonishingly retro: “What does she have to complain about? I have the stress of putting the food on the table.”) She takes a solution-based approach to the issue, starting from the premise that men’s and women’s time are of equal worth, no matter who makes more money or stays home with the kids. From there, couples are given the tools to renegotiate the top 100 things required to make a household work—everything from managing pets to ensuring first aid and emergency supplies are in order. Fair Play is lively and cathartic, and just plain fun to read. Rodsky acknowledges the issues that chip away at so many marriages and offers a completely achievable approach to solving them. Her message is clear: Stop nagging, start living.
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