The Dangers of Domestic Abuse That We Ignore, Explain Away, or Refuse to See
August 10, 2020
Australian journalist Hill examines the individual and societal mechanisms of domestic abuse in this original and persuasive account. She compares the tactics of abusers, such as isolation, gaslighting, and surveillance, to the torture methods that led American POWs to defect to China during WWII; profiles women protecting themselves and their children from abuse they’re unable to escape; discredits victim-blaming narratives; and explains how rationalizing abuse can be a “sophisticated coping mechanism.” Hill argues that if abusers are seen as “complex humans with their own needs and sensitivities,” they can be enabled to address their “supercharged sense of entitlement” and fear of shame, and understand how the patriarchy has taught them to think about men’s power and vulnerability. Hill also examines the social and legal structures that facilitate abuse, including police inaction to domestic violence calls and courts that disregard the testimony of children. Her solutions include therapeutic models that understand an abuser’s pain but center accountability and the encouragement of community involvement in domestic violence cases. Hill’s lucid history of cultural attitudes toward domestic violence and harrowing survivor testimonies combine to powerful effect. This is a nuanced and eye-opening study of a hidden crisis.